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| Jokes! |
 Mardem |
They were 2 guys that were playing WOW everyday, all day and never do anything..
One afternoon when they stop playing WOW one guy said to the other..
-Last night i met a sexy blond girl..
-REALLY! and what happen next??
-I told her if she want to come to my apartment and she said yes
-Wow! and what happen next?
-We went to my apartment and started drinking wine
-You are lucky dude!! what happen next??
-Then i start kissing the girl..
-After that??!!
-I make her sit on my desk next to my new graphics card
-A new graphics card!!What are the specs!??
(i hope i write this correct because my english are not so good.)
read 989 times
2/8/2010 6:04:48 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 6:05:40 PM)
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| click here |
At the pet shop, a man spots a parrot without any feet. The man leans in, "Hey buddy, how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a hook."
"Wow," says the guy. "I can't believe you're so smart! I'm taking you home."
Weeks go by, and the parrot not only understands everything the man says, but he gives good advice. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Hey, I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the mailman."
"What happened?" asks the guy.
"Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today, your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth."
"What happened then?" asks the guy.
"Then, the mailman came into the house and lifted up your wife's nightgown," reports the parrot.
"Oh no!" the guy says. "Then what?"
"I don't know," says the parrot. "I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."
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February 21st 2006. My first day using max.
Everyone likes it sugarcoated, but that doesn't make it the best way to take it.
Join my folding group.
read 961 times
2/8/2010 9:25:30 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 9:25:30 PM)
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| zeefusion |
What do you get when you cross a brown chicken and a brown cow?
brownchickenbrowncow
James Cutler
Creative Consultant
Email Website
read 947 times
2/8/2010 10:43:48 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 10:43:48 PM)
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| donvella |
where do you find a dog with no legs?....
....
...
..
.
where you left it.
James Vella
3D Design
read 931 times
2/9/2010 1:47:39 AM (last edit: 2/9/2010 1:47:39 AM)
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| MR PINK BALLS |
I do say ruptured,do you know whats very very funny?
Why,no no,go on
Men In women clothing.
mmm,yes yes,quite hilarious indeed.
read 910 times
2/9/2010 7:25:59 AM (last edit: 2/9/2010 7:25:59 AM)
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| advance-software |
What's brown and sticky ?
.
.
.
.
A stick.
read 895 times
2/9/2010 10:28:57 AM (last edit: 2/9/2010 10:29:45 AM)
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| mrgrotey |
Come on people we need at least ONE funny one on this page :P
read 874 times
2/9/2010 11:21:20 AM (last edit: 2/9/2010 11:21:20 AM)
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| Garp |
How do you call two blondes holding hands?
a synapse.
read 868 times
2/9/2010 11:36:26 AM (last edit: 2/9/2010 11:36:49 AM)
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| Sir_Manfred |
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
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A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
I be parrrrlaygons, me hearties!
http://www.Freds3D.com
read 860 times
2/9/2010 11:59:19 AM (last edit: 2/9/2010 11:59:19 AM)
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| STRAT |
i was in my car driving to work this morning and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.'
I swerved.
Two minutes later he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.'
I swerved again.
He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree.
A policeman came along and said 'What happened to you?'
I said 'I careered off the road.'
SJLEWORTHY.COM
read 845 times
2/9/2010 12:52:40 PM (last edit: 2/9/2010 12:53:18 PM)
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| Sir_Manfred |
Two Norwegian guys moved to Australia to work at an oil-platform.
They worked there for a long time and made good money.
But after a while, they started to feel somewhat left out because they were the only Scandinavians working there.
One day, a Swede arrived to their platform to start out working.
He ended up working with the two Norwegians and they were really happy working with a fellow Scandinavian. They became friends and started going to the platform-pub every night after work.
But then, suddenly one day, the Swede died. The ambulance-helicopter arrived and picked him up. But as the paramedics carried his dead body to the chopper, the Norwegians stopped them and said: "Wait! We have to check the body to see if its true!"
"What do you mean?" replied the paramedics.
"We have to see if he really has two assholes!" the Norwegians said.
"What are you talking about? Nobody has two assholes..."
The Norwegians replied: "But haven't you heard? Every time we went to the pub together, the bartender said 'Here comes the Swede with the two assholes...' "
I be parrrrlaygons, me hearties!
http://www.Freds3D.com
read 823 times
2/9/2010 10:38:37 PM (last edit: 2/9/2010 10:38:37 PM)
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| advance-software |
A teacher asked her class if anyone could give an example of a sentance using the word "contagious".
Shannon put her hand in the air and said "When I was five I had chickenpox and had to stay at home because the doctor said chickenpox was contagious."
The teacher replied "Yes Shannon, that's a very good example. Well done."
Then young Seamus put his hand in the air and said "My next door neighbour was painting the outside of his house with a 2 inch paintbrush and my Dad said it will take the contagious."
read 783 times
2/10/2010 4:04:42 PM (last edit: 2/10/2010 6:55:38 PM)
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| advance-software |
The Fukawi are a tribe of pygmies from the Grasslands of Africa. They grow to a height of around 4 feet tall and roam through the 5-foot tall grasslands. They can often be heard shouting their tribal chant "We're the Fukawi ! We're the Fukawi !"
read 726 times
2/15/2010 3:36:26 PM (last edit: 2/15/2010 3:37:07 PM)
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| Odie |
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "why the long face?"
read 694 times
2/15/2010 8:14:16 PM (last edit: 2/15/2010 8:14:16 PM)
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| Garp |
I vote for the Fukawi one!
:))
read 846 times
2/15/2010 8:54:48 PM (last edit: 2/15/2010 8:54:48 PM)
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